never stop

today i wanted to go somewhere but i don't think she did.
well, she said she didn't but i didn't care enough to listen.
but i guess i care a little since i'm writing about it now.
though now is a relative term that has since moved to the past
again
again
again
and my past has been added to again.
additionally, the car needed a tune-up and it hasn't happened yet.
we're up before dawn and this is no time to joke.
where it is, i don't know.
i don't think she wanted to go anywhere today but i did.

we're too big to expand

all at once,
the tingling twitching of fingertips met for the first time,
the movements quick like light passing between trees that continue to move despite one's best efforts
touch and away
a sideways glance, a flicker in the lips
we can't go anywhere fast enough and
yet
the uncontrolled never lasts.

palm of my hand

our past is expansive,
much more so than our present
and our future is seemingly blank.


how sad it is to have missed out on something
so innocent
perfect
in order to preserve something that
does
not
exist?


(i've lost all hope now, please come help me out.)


i need some guidance here, and now, 
and please don't tell me you'll work it out
because eventually isn't good enough for me,
no
not anymore.
give me more. give me concrete. give me proof.
give me truth.


(it's all that i deserve, no more, no less. i guess.)


i just cannot believe that i let it slip through my fingers
and
convinced myself all would be well.
hell,
maybe i'm the one who needs to stop telling lies.
besides,
taking care of me should be my number one priority.


(get some. or something.)