four years

is a long time.

four years is

one-fifth of

my lifetime.

when i was five, i 

played with barbie dolls

and

tonka trucks and

hot wheels and

coloring books.

when i was ten i

read a lot of books and

wore silly outfits and

jumped on my bed

listening to my b*witched and

hanson cassette tapes.

when i was fifteen i

had a lot of crushes and

stopped shaving my legs and

yearned for more.

now that i am twenty i

have become this

woman that

changes daily.

i have realized that

i have so much going

for me and i

still laugh at my life all the time.

four years is a long time to

commit to someone other than

yourself.

i have finally admitted that i

can survive by myself and

i am willing to

embrace myself before

giving myself away again.